


Hesitant to Love

by ZutaraWasRobbed



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Awkward Zuko (Avatar), Badass Katara (Avatar), Canon compliant up to the end of original series, F/M, Friendship/Love, Katara is a bad ass, Original Universe, Post-Canon, Sex Talk, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zutara Week 2020, friendship children, friendship marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25624048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZutaraWasRobbed/pseuds/ZutaraWasRobbed
Summary: Zuko loves his wife, but he doesn’t know how to tell her.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 227
Collections: Zutara Week 2020





	Hesitant to Love

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Zutara week everybody! This story takes place a few years post canon. Special thanks to @Markedmage for her wonderful beta skills

Zuko loves his wife. He knows he shouldn’t, but he does. This was never supposed to be about love. But how could anyone not fall in love with her the moment they looked into her eyes? The moment she revealed her smile to the world, her righteous fury exposed in the crinkle of her nose and narrowed eyes, he adores so much. The excitement she felt for every one of his, or her, bills passed. The prospect of bringing peace to the world by sharing her life with her best friend. 

Best friend... friendship. That’s what this was supposed to be. Two best friends putting aside their individual futures to be joined as wedded loves, to bring about a new era of inclusion to not just the fire nation, but the rest of the world. But he was doomed from the start. He promised himself he would repress this feeling. As he looked at the sleeping face of his wife with a hand on her protruding belly- his child, a daughter, he was sure, even though she was adamant it was a boy- he knew he could no longer keep this secret from her. 

Zuko loves his wife, but he doesn’t know how to tell her. How can he? Will she hate him for breaking this arrangement they made when going into this union? Their marriage was supposed to be a symbol, nothing more. She would bear his children and they would love them, but not each other... Well not the love he felt for her at least. He knew she loved him, she told him so even before marriage. But it was the love a friend shared with another, platonic and pure with none of the complications that came about from being in love with someone. He thought he could live with this. Keep this secret in exchange for having her in his life. 

(There are many things Zuko would do for Katara. Follow her around the world, train a little boy the secrets of his people. Take her to find the man who cracked her heart and shattered her innocence in a matter of second. Take lightning to the heart for a girl like her. But keeping his love for her a secret? Not a chance.) 

But now it felt wrong. Like maybe he was deceiving her, yet his mind was filled with words and promises to always be honorable. Words and promises that wouldn't let him get away withholding the truth from her any longer. He used to escape them by whispering softly in her ear as she slept. 

But now she held a promise of a different kind. Promises of sleepless nights with crying children. He always knew it was inevitable. But the way it happened was still bizarre to think about but also so Katara he couldn’t imagine it any other way.

* * *

It was early evening and they were having dinner in his quarters, a common occurrence to escape the gossiping maids and nobles, when it happened. He just finished his bowl of sea prunes when she spoke 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.” It was automatic. Her mouth was in a straight line, her fingers fidgeting with the table cloth sewn by her gran gran. In hindsight he should’ve known she was about to ask something serious, but as always his mind drew blank and simply responded the way he always did when she asked him anything.

“Well... it’s more of a request-never mind...” her voice faltered and deflated.

Zuko’s frown was evident on his face. He wondered if he said or did anything to make her feel as if she couldn’t tell him anything. His heart screamed at the prospect. His mind wanted to spill everything he wanted to say. I would give you anything you asked. If you asked for the moon, I would find a way to bring it to you. If you asked for the stars I would learn how to fly to pluck them out of the sky. He would give her anything she asked. She already had his soul. 

“It’s just that...” _oh! she wasn’t done._ “I was thinking about our marriage-“

_Shit_

“And we’ve been married for almost three years...”

 _Three years next month- 34 days. But who’s counting?_ “Already?” Not trusting himself to speak he took a sip of the broth left in his bowl.

“I want a baby!” 

If he could, Zuko would turn back time so he reacted better. Or at least not choke on his soup as his wife bent the liquid in his lungs... “what?” His voice cracked. He would also not do that...

Katara steeled herself with a look of determination he only ever saw when she dealt with stubborn nobles. “I want a baby.” She said simply. As if she didn’t just ask him to impregnate her.

“Now?” His voice was still high pitched, but at least he didn’t sound like that toad from the western air temple.

“I think it takes longer than a minute to have a baby.” She deadpanned.

That _should_ be funny. But his laugh was devoid of humor. Instead filled with nerves. She noticed.

“Zuko.” She reached across the table to take his hand. “I want to have a child with you. I know you must be apprehensive at the prospect of sharing your bed with me-”

 _Not in the way you think_ his mind interjects,

“but I don’t think it would be so bad. But there are other methods if you prefer!”

 _Hmm let me think, would I prefer using your bending to you in my bed? That’s a tough one._

“But I’d like to try the more natural way. If that’s alright with you...” her resulting blush forced a smile from his lips.

“Okay.”

* * *

He wishes he could say their first time was magical with fireworks and moans of pleasure... not laughter and snorting. He wished he lasted more than a minute. _Agni I’m never gonna hear the end of this for the rest of my days. My ancestors must be mocking me in the spirit realm as we speak_ ! “I’m so _so_ sorry.”

Her laughter ceased, “I’m not. I heard from gran gran this was might happen. It’s totally normal. I just assumed you did this before.”

 _She did? Wasn’t it blatantly obvious how awkward he was? Where did she get that idea?_ “No, just you.” He embarrassedly admitted. 

“Hey,” her smile in return filled him with warmth. “Don’t be embarrassed. How about this time you let me take the lead?”

* * *

So he did. He was in control, one the throne, and she was in control in the bedroom. It wasn’t long before the news of her pregnancy was delivered to him. When she told him, he allowed himself one moment of weakness and kissed her deeply, as if she just gave him the most precious gift in the world. He supposed she did in a way. The gift of a child- their child, one part him the other half her. He hoped it was a girl, a girl just like her. Katara kissed him back and laughed as he broke away. He should have told her then. But her smile was infectious and the words died on his lips. He almost kissed her again, but one moment of excitement was justified, another was just selfish. 

* * *

Now, three month later he’s starting to see the evidence of her pregnancy in her stomach and he can’t pretend any longer. Taking a deep breath, he strips his shirt and goes under the covers and pulls her to him, covering her hand on her stomach with his own. She stirs awake and snuggles closer to him.

“Hey.” Her voice is raspy from sleep. But she’s awake and she turns to face him with a smile. 

This is it. No going back. 

“I need to tell you something.” 

That gets her attention. Her eyes look into his with clarity and concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I- I’m in love with you.”

Silence is all he gets in return. Her eyes are wide in shock and his heart breaks from the fragile agreement he’s just broken.

“I," she steels herself, but slowly a smile adorns her face and her hand rests gently on the scar on his chest. “I’ve loved you since you jumped in front of that lightning meant for me...” 

This, he thinks, is what happiness feels like. Not being crowned Fire Lord. Nor the moment he could finally create lightning from his fingertips. Holding her close, her back to his front, her hand in his laying atop her stomach, is happiness. It feels like the dawn of spring colored by the crimson of the sun reflecting in the pond of blue. Like the sky after its fight with a storm, exploding with colors of all sorts in the middle of the day. He thinks he’ll never love her more than in this moment…

* * *

Six months later their daughter is born and the sounds of her wails fill the palace walls. One look into her golden eyes staring up at him with curiosity, from her mother’s arms, he’s proven wrong. This, he _knows_ , is happiness. When his wife looks up at him with her tired eyes beaming with joy and pride she tells him, “I love you.”

They tell each other constantly since that night. But this time it feels different. This time he knows their hearts no longer belong to just each other but the little girl with her eyes the shape of her mother’s with the color of her father's gold, the heat of her darker skin confirming what type of bender she’ll be. 

He loves his wife, she loves him, and they love their daughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: I’ve read many arranged marriage fic that have Katara and Zuko as either strangers or enemies. I love reading those AU’s but in this story, I decided to go in a different direction. A direction of mutual consent for mutual benefits.


End file.
